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17 January 2011 @ 11:18 am
Hello LJ, I know I haven't been around in... months... but the New Years post in something I've been doing for a very long time, and I feel like I need to keep the tradition going. Even though January is half over already... here goes!

2010: putting a life back togetherCollapse )
01 March 2010 @ 07:52 pm
i'm having an existential crisis. my life is an utter abyss of meaninglessness. why? because i am, and always have been, a complete mash up of conflicting personalities. no, literally. everything i say i am is in complete conflict with something else i claim to be. and i'm getting to that age when i feel like I NEED TO PICK A SIDE ALREADY. and it's getting really difficult to live with myself in my head.

i want to be a free spirit, but equally, i thrive in structure and organization. i love nature, going out, and exploring the connections between humans, but equally, people drive me insane, and i love being alone with my thoughts, a good book, and silence.

i call myself an artist, but i think in linear terms. what i'm best at is organizing, keeping a calendar, time management, and various other Virgo things. but half my brain struggles for something deeper. i try to write, i try to paint, i try to take photos, but everything i make ends falling way short of my own expectations.

how am i supposed to live like this? feeling like i'm two different people trapped inside one brain? how am i supposed to pick a future, pick a career, pick a city to move to, when everything i think i want is conflicting with itself??

i've been letting myself coast for months, hoping that my future would figure itself out, or some opportunity would present itself that made the choice more clear. but it hasn't and i'm getting impatient. i want to know who i am before it's too late for me to do anything about it.
28 November 2009 @ 10:14 pm
i did this last year, and it was a lot of fun :) i LOVE getting mail, and i love sending it even more. so if you want bit of season's greetings in your mailbox this year, drop me a comment with your mailing address. i know pretty much EVERYONE that i sent one to last year has since moved, so please give me your new address!

comments are screened to protect you from stalkers <3
24 November 2009 @ 12:21 am
as some of you may not know, Argo Tea is opening it's next location in Manhattan, the first store outside of Chicago. i asked our district manager today (who is becoming the manager of Argo NYC) if she had any openings for supervisors at the new store, and she seemed really enthusiastic about discussing it. i sent her an email when i got home from work, and i've spent pretty much the entire day researching a possible life in New York.

i never thought it would be the place for me. New Yorkers always seemed like everything i hate about Chicagoans, but with worse accents (no offense... does anyone on my flist even live in New York? PLEASE TELL ME IF YOU DO!). but when i think between New York and Los Angeles... New York seems more my style. i grew up with sky scrapers and public transit, i'm not really prepared for a sprawling city and a 2 hour commute. in a car. with my terrible road rage..... yeah, i think i'll take the subway.

and really, half the battle of moving is finding a job. and i would have one, right off the bat. a good one too, with insurance, and a manager that i really like working for. and though i would seriously miss certain things about Chicago, i'm thinking of this more as a jumping off point. New York has far more opportunities for my film work than Chicago has. i could make contacts, join Women In Film New York, start new projects of my own, and get myself out there in ways that I haven't been able to in Chicago. and plus... NEGL, st_nyc_gqmfs seem like some of the coolest people i would ever meet. yeah, i stalked their comm.

i'm sorry that i'm cheating on you, Chicago. but our relationship is really just falling apart. i think it's time we went our separate ways. it's for the best.
19 August 2009 @ 10:37 pm
Dear Kristen Stewart,

Please die in a fire. You ruin everything you touch. You somehow manage to make bad characters even worse, and we would like you to stop. Immediately. Thanks.


The Movie-Goers of America

SERIOUSLY THOUGH. as if Bella wasn't bad enough in the book, WHAT THE FUCK? DOES SHE EVEN HAVE EMOTIONS? LIKE, EVER? i almost wanted a Bella-sob-fest-for-no-reason because Kstew is such a goddamn monotone zombie i wanted to beat my head in with a paint can.

Redeeming Qualities:

1. occasional really-well-done cinematography. the piano scene? very nice.
2. Charlie. omg, perfect.
3. Alice. adorbs!!
4. Rpattz rare hot moments. OK, I KNOW... but there were a couple "dayum.... wut?" moments of which i am not proud.

Utterly Ridiculous:

1. sparkles.
3. the fact that ILM contributed to these vfx. GROW UP, ILM. YOU ARE BETTER THAN THIS.
4. Jasper's hair. (but he's still adorbs)

ok, i'm done talking about twatlight for now. i have to wake up at 3:30am -___-

17 August 2009 @ 09:45 pm
last Thursday, the GQMFs of Chicago had an EPIC SHORT NOTICE meetup at the Vic's Brew & View for the last showing of Star Trek.

cabuloushush  imamandajulius  firestormroses  bloodygoodgirl   and sadly absent from above behindthechalet who had to leave right after the movie.

even though i'm PRETTY DAMN SURE the theater was showing the bootleg version of ST that i downloaded 2 months ago (where the titles are cut off to say OWA and LCAN" ...and Spock's epic uniform tug at the trial scene was cut off...) a good time was still had by all, and much alcohol was consumed. shenanigans continued at Clark's, where breakfast foods and more booze were consumed, and much Twatlight-hating insued. i probably should have written this sooner, because i've already forgotten what went on. i blame alcohol and alzheimers...

thanks for making it out on such short notice, i had a TOTAL blast. hope to see you ladies again very soon!!


13 August 2009 @ 05:50 am
i woke up too early for work. i tried to go back to sleep, and failed. i'm mad.

i finished Twatlight on the way to work yesterday. yes, i was reading it in public. i made sure to hide in the corner of the bus with the cover facing the wall so that no one would see it D: unfotunately, when i was in Nashville, my sister pretty much told me the entire plot of the series in a car ride, so i know what's coming next, and i probably won't be too happy about it. but i'm looking forward to an improvement in the writing lol.

UGH. WHY CAN'T I STOP READING THIS TRASH? but. alas. i am. and i can't stop.

i realize that i've been spending far too much time reading Twatlight, and far less time working on my story. i'm sorry guys, i promise i'll finish it eventually :( epic writer's block is epic. and i haven't been angsty enough lately. i'm sure it'll return soon.

GQMF MEET UP at the Brew & View tonight. i'm gonna come home from work and take a nap so that i'm primed and ready for some drinks and some Trek. then this weekend, my dad and i are gonna go to the Air and Water Show on Saturday, before Shannon and Abby take me to the Blink 182/FOB show. can we say best weekend ever? except working on Sunday :( but i can't ever escape that.

10 August 2009 @ 10:34 pm

Thursday's showing (August 13th) is at 7:30 PM
The movie is $5


3145 N. Sheffield Ave.

Hop on the RED line and get off at the Belmont stop. Walk west on Belmont, Sheffield is the first street (make a left). We are approx. 1 block away from the Belmont stop.


Let's meet up, guys! I know this is stupidly short-notice, but I had no idea it was showing there. They are asshats.

Details: http://www.brewview.com

30 July 2009 @ 06:51 pm
OK GUYS! Saturday is officially the Chicago TOS Marathon/Drinkathon. i would like to start this party early since i have to work on Sunday morning (but hell, i'll be hungover, WHO CARES) so cocktail hour 6pm. feel free to come late if you have prior engagements.

i will soon be sending out LJ messages to everyone with directions and such. i'd like to use this post as an opportunity to plan activities, decide food/utensil provisions, and answer any questions.

let's start with the most important thing: booze. now, i'm not at all opposed to underaged drinking but for legality's sake, don't tell me you're underage ;) and PLEASE, if you plan on drinking, don't drive here. my apartment is close to several 24-hour or late hours bus routes, as well as the red line, so don't drive unless you plan on being sober, or plan on staying the night (this is no big deal, and you're more than welcome, but keep in mind i have to work the next day and will be kicking you out early!)

now, i work for minimum wage so i'd like this to be a BYOB event. i'll provide some green blooded hobgoblin punch, but if you want beer/wine/more liquor or soda/mixers, please bring it! there is also a Jewel 2 blocks away as well as a liquor store around the corner in case you forget your drinks or want more later. also, carry some cash on you, in case we decide to order food, or if people decide to share in a liquor purchase. cash makes everything easier, so bring at least $5 or something.

things i need volunteers to bring:
-ice (you can buy this from Jewel around the corner on your way here)
-paper plates/plastic cups/napkins
-snacks! any kind. homemade is extra-special!

please post in the comments what you can bring with you, anything and everything you contribute will be appreciated! also, please post if you have any food allergies, just in case.

now, as for stuff to do, i'm down for anything. though i've never participated in a TOS drinking game, i'm sure we can invent a pretty awesome one (every time the crew on the bridge has a laugh at Spock's expense? every time Kirk bares skin unnecesarily?) if anyone else has some Trek-related games, throw out your suggestions. or we can just sit around and fangirl out. i'm always down for that.